"I'm the one she should be paying attention to." 790 pointed out.
"Not you or Kai. Me! I'm the one who's truly devoted to her."
"She doesn't want you." Stan pointed out.
"She doesn't want you either." 790 shot back.
Stan was furious. "Yeah. Well... soon she won't have much
choice." He went to Kai's cryotube, intending to mis-awaken Kai and
make him feel so horrible, he'd destroy himself.
"Hello, Kai." he said as he worked the controls, carefully this time,
"I want you to listen to me very carefully. What I am about to say
applies to our relationship. The real reason you don't feel anything
for Zev is that when you think of me you feel..."
Stan was going to say 'guilt' and go on from there, but Zev walked in
at that point.
"...um... love. Pure unadulterated, unconditional love."
"Stan?" Zev asked. "What are you doing?"
"Um... just ah.. waking Kai up for a chat."
"Mmm hmmm..." Zev replied. "And what was all that love stuff?"
"Just tellin' him how I feel about ya." Stan grinned.
Kai's cryotube opened and he stepped out. "Will you marry me?" he
Zev blinked. Was she dreaming. "Oh gods, yes." she gasped,
"Not you." Kai stated. "Stanley. I want him to take me. I want to
feel his body inside of mine. But I promised myself I would remain
untouched until my wedding day. So, please, Stanley. Please marry
"Um, excuse us just a moment. Please?" Zev asked as she lead Stan
into the corridor. "What *exactly* did you say to him before you woke
him up?" she asked.
"Um... I said... " Stan stammered.
Kai walked into the hallway. "Please. I must have your answer. I need
"I can't." Stan told him. "Look, we're both guys, okay. I just can't
"Then, you do not love me." Kai actually sounded dejected.
"Kai," Stan was frazzled. How could he tell Kai that he did not feel
that way for him without breaking his heart. Wait... if he didn't
feel that way, then why was it so important to him not to break Kai's
"Stanley?" Zev blinked.
"No... its not right." Stan told himself. "Its wrong for a man to
love another man."
"Why?" Kai asked. "What is so wrong about wanting to hold someone and
make them feel good? Please? Love me and make love to me. But first,
please marry me?"
"Hey! What about all those lullabies I've sung to you, to make your
nightmares go away?" Zev demanded, staring... no *glaring*... at Kai.
"All those times I helped you out, protected you... remember me?
"Thanks, mom." Kai grinned.
"MOM?! Why you... I'll mom you!" Zev stepped foward, giving a Cluster
"Stan..." Kai suggested.
"Yeah?" Stan asked.
The two men took off, Kai holding Stan's hand the entire time, until
they, and Zev, were on the bridge.
"Um... Kai... " Stan pointed out... "my hand."
Kai looked down at Stan's hand, which was still clasped, gently but
firmly, in his own. "I know." he smiled at Stan.
Stan withdrew his hand and Kai's face took on the most heartbroken
look both Stan and Zev had ever seen.
The ex-assassin collapsed and sat on the floor of the bridge of the
Lexx. His body was trembling a soft keening sound came from him,
issuing from the depths of his Brunnen-G soul.
Stan blinked. Was Kai crying? He hadn't thought it possible. But...
"Kai?" he asked, putting a hand on the dead man's shoulder.
"I can't stand being without you, Stan." Kai said, spinning around
and glomping onto Stan's legs.
"Oh boy." Stan muttered.
Stan sighed. There was nothing else for it. He'd just have to tell
Kai the truth. Hopefully, they would be able to keep him calm until
he ran out of protoblood again. He hoped that when Kai woke again,
he'd be back to normal.
"Kai," he said, he stood back and turned to walk away. Then, he
turned around to find Kai's face mere inches from his own.
//He's so damned quiet.// he thought.
"Kai, " he began again, "I..."
Then he felt the cool yet not unyielding lips of the Last of the
Brunnen-G as they covered his, Kai's tongue darting teasingily
against them as he coaxed them apart and and elicited a moan from the
Stan took Kai into his arms, barely aware he was doing so, and
slipped his own tongue into Kai's mouth.
//Have I been wrong about making love with men all along?// he
wondered. //Or is it just Kai? Am I in love with Kai? Why did I say
those particular words when I changed my speech. Why did I get
worried when I thought he'd get hurt? And what is that remarkable
feeling in my groin?//
"Perhaps we should go to your room?" Kai suggested.
"It would be more private." Stan agreed.
"Yes, yes." 790 agreed. "You two make a beautiful couple. Go now!
Make love and be happy with each other."
"I agree." Kai nodded, his dead eyes sparkling as they looked into
Stan shrugged and led Kai off the bridge.
"At last!" 790 laughed. "Soon, Stan and Kai will be married and then
Zev is gonna be all mine!"
"Wait." Kai said as they stood at the door to Stan's cabin.
"We are not married yet." Kai pointed out. "I promised myself
"Right. Okay." Stan said. "As Captain of the Lexx, I hereby declare
us married. Now..."
"No?" Stan blinked.
"I want a wedding."
"I'm not going to be a bride." Stan said, firmly.
"Then, I will." Kai replied. "Please?"
Stan sighed, there was no way out of it. He'd have to marry Kai and
hope that Kai would forget when he reawakened.
In time, Stan and Kai were back on the bridge of the Lexx. Kai was
holding a bouquet of flowers, which looked a bit out of place in the
Zev walked onto the bridge just as the two finished the ceremony and
"Well, I guess that's that." she sighed. "The man I'm madly in love
with just married the man who's madly in love with me. What does
that leave me with?"
"The only being in either universe who's good enough for you!" 790
Zev sighed and carried the ecstatic robot head back to her
Stan lie in bed waiting for his 'bride' to join him. He half-hoped
that Kai had run out of protoblood in the shower...
...but he hadn't.
Stan looked at Kai whose 'sex organ', as Kai referred to it, seemed
anything but dysfunctional.
"Rigor mortis. I'm dead, remember."
"Thanks for sharing." Stan sighed, wondering how he'd managed get
himself into this mess...
... and did he really want to find his way out?
Kai climbed into bed alongside Stan and kissed the former
Fourth-Class Security Guard.
Stan returned the kiss and began to fondle Kai, gingerly at first,
then becoming more and more confident with each stroke or caress.
Then, leaning down to kiss and suckle Kai's pseudo-erection until
the Brunnen-G was moaning with ... desire? Finally, he penetrated
Kai, shattering the last of his taboos in a single inward thrust.
As Stan thrust within him, something long-dormant awakened within
Kai. Feelings buried long ago by His Shadow's cruelty resurfaced
with the force of a dolphin leaping out of the waves.
With a cry of pure ecstacy that Stan was sure could be heard on every
inhabited planet in the universe, Kai came!
Stan came into Kai, then pulled back and watched in fear and
amazement as Kai's body shook, violently, vibrating faster and faster
until it suddenly burst into flames, Stan leaping back just in time,
then gathering a blanket and covering Kai's burning body with it,
trying desperately to douse the fire.
When he pulled the blanket back, Kai was gone. In his place was the
sleeping form of a boy no older than ten.
"Pappa!" the boy hugged Stan.
"Who are you?" Stan blinked.
"I'm your son Kai."
To Be Continued.....